Running in Place: Back Home Again

 It was apropos that, while sitting on my grandma's decades-old couch, I read Stephen King's intro to the Dark Tower.  In it, he talks about how he started writing the series at 19 years old and how that age shaped the outlook of the series.  King continues with how many of us get stuck at that age mentally.  Before you argue too much about that, think of your go-to music and movies.  Who are your favorite athletes?  Chances are they all come from around that age.  I know I still blast Flogging Molly and AFI.  I think I'll circle back to this in a bit.

Due to COVID and moving, I was not able to meet my brothers' kids (and I still haven't met Thea).  Since I had a hole in my training schedule, we decided to drive up north and do a tour, spending 2-3 nights in various locations.  

 The whole point of the trip was to see family.  Different from prior trips, we weren't going to be doing much site-seeing or exploring.  Unfortunately, there was no Campus Martius ice skating, Frankenmuth chicken dinner eating, or Great Lakes polar plunging on this trip.  I  think Mila was fine with us not hiking any dunes this time though.  (for my write up on our 2019 trip, check here)  This time, there was a lot more time spent in living rooms talking.  Most of the people I went to see had to work, so mornings were slow and relaxing.

Sophie and I looking out at the backyard in the early morning

I had lots of time to read, reflect, and relax.  And hide from the cold.  12 years in the south have made me leery of going out when it's below freezing.  I did run a couple times.  Scott and I ran a mile and a half in his nice new neighborhood.  My mom told me that the Flint River trail that I had previously enjoyed running had been added to.  So, I had to go check that out at least once.

found a chair to sit where I could listen to the river and woodpeckers

I'm not in Texas anymore

I wasn't sure how far I wanted to go but when I saw the route iced/snowed over starting in the section that I ran last time, my decision was made for me

yes, that's the Flint river

A horse?  that's not something you see every run

We did some of the classic "visiting home" things though.  Mostly food - pasties, Boston Coolers, and, of course, Whitey's.

Not shown - her sprinting back to the car to get out of the cold

Plus I hit up a lunch spot that Scott suggested with this cutie
(I was trying to capture the snow behind her)

This isn't the right outlet for some of the reflections from the trip, but I thought a lot about familial relationships and the passage of time.  I guess meeting tiny new family members will do that to you.

Not sure if Grandma knew this picture was being taken

I think Scott did

Mila exploded into full on "tia mode" with Elliott and Calvin.  Norah and I "helped" in the kitchen.  If I don't say so myself, no one will so; I got pretty good at singing "The Itsy Bitsy Pumpkin."  I'm sure Elliott would agree.  At the very least, she stopped taking the book from me mid-song.  We had a great time getting to know them at this stage and watching them explore and work things out in their time and on their terms.  

Looking like they're about to cause some mischief

Some say he looks like he could be my kid.  I'm sure he feels the sting of those words

ummm.... excuse me sir

COVID and the shutdowns have taken their toll on my hometown.  PKSA Davison, once virtually home for me and a standout local business, is now up for sale. (I was told that the classes have moved to a local church gym)  Many of the restaurants and other businesses have changed hands, names, or been shuttered up.  Every time I come back, it gets further away from the town I left in 2008.  This time, I only saw one familiar face - a waitress at Whitey's that I used to work with.  I helped my grandma clean out the last of my stuff from her basement.  I even grabbed a few of my old books from my mom's.  Piece by piece Davison and the Flint area are becoming not quite home.  

I wrote last time about some of the reasons I left and the feelings that I typically get when I go back home.  Those feelings haven't changed and, in fact, I was a little surprised while reading my last post at some of the thoughts I had again this time around.  There inevitably comes a time in every trip where I think "yeah, I made a good choice in leaving."  That's not to say that I don't enjoy going home to visit or that there is anything wrong with the choice of living there.  I just think that for my personal and professional growth, it was something that had to happen.  I would still be stuck at 19.  Probably even still have a chin strap beard.  Though, there would be significantly more white in it now.

I came home and watched a couple of Vlogbrothers videos that both expounded upon and challenged King's words and my own thoughts of personal growth and change.  The Green brothers started their Youtube channel in 2007 while I left home in 2008.  Although they're a few years older than me, and we were all well over 19 by then, those years marked significant changes in our lives.

 John Green talking about aging in the digital... age.

John seemed to challenge Hank's changing from "Corndog Hank" to "TikTok Science Communicator" over the past 14 or so years and delved into his own personal changes.  

Facebook sends those "On this Day" reminders to members daily and they can act like a personal museum.  I opened Facebook while I still lived in Michigan and often cringe at the things I posted and/or how I wrote them. I doubt people are going through my 2009 Facebook posts for the first time now, but they stand as a record of who I was at that point.

Hank responded to his brother John (and Stephen King's words in my head) that the seedling of who we were still forms a part of who we are.  He still loves corndogs and Metamucil, but he's also growing and is multifaceted.

(no, he doesn't say those things verbatim but that is the message that I took)

I think back to those friends I had at 19.  My closest friends from back then have since moved out of the state and I haven't seen any of them for 10+ years.  I think we'd still recognize each other not just physically (social media helps with that) but down to the core of who we are.  Sure, Nicole probably isn't quoting the Fast and the Furious movies (although I typically do) and Brian and Jason probably don't choreograph NSYNC dances in public, (Oh yeah, I brought that back) but we would likely be able to connect.  That person I spent so much time with would probably/hopefully still be there.  

Additionally, as Hank said, we appear different to different people.  The way I speak with my co-workers is different than how I speak with my mom which is different than how I write in here.  The truth of who we are is a changing thing.  So, no, I'm not the same guy that went into TSgt Duke's office back in early 2008.  I'd like to think that most of my changes are for the better.  King wrote that intro when he was in his early 50s.  Maybe my thoughts will be different in 15 years.  I'm sure there will be plenty of events and trips back home to spur them on.